Instead of the Principal, Jasmine and I will see the Diabetes Specialist Team, which will consist of her Endocrinologist, Dietician, Psychologist, Nurses, Lab Techs and countless other medical staff.
I look for Jasmine's log book for all her numbers. Oh no, there were a few that didn't get written down so I am frantically going through her machine to find the ones we missed. Surely I am the only mom in history to not write down every single number at the time we checked! Looking through her book, I see the good, the bad (the lows) and the highs (the ugly). Every single number that is not within range, I beat myself up and think was there something more I could of done. I am her mom, I must protect her, how could I of let this happen!
I have tried counting every carb, tried to weigh every piece of food she has put into her mouth. But I will admit, at times it is not possible. When the teacher calls from school because a child has brought donuts for their birthday, what do I do? As her pancreas perhaps I should say no no no! As her mom, I want Jasmine to not always feel different and left out (how would you like to see all the other kids eat a donut and you are just sitting there watching!?!). So as a mom and a pancreas, I try to compromise. I ask the teacher how big, what kind, is there sprinkles, is there frosting (I love Jasmine's teacher who has also learned a lot about carbs!). So in the end, Jasmine gets a part of the donut and brings the rest home in a baggie. Later that day when Jas's numbers are over 200, I feel guilty. I try to remember that on some days, even when all she has had is a half of a sandwhich and a small piece of fruit, her numbers can also be high or low, depending if T1 wants to cooperate or wants to be in control.
But alas, these numbers show up in the log and even if I tried to hide them and not write them down, once Jasmine's machine is plugged into our Endo's computer, the truth will be known. Besides, why would I hide anything from a man that is only trying to keep my daughter healthy and strong?
So today, once again is the Endo appointment. As always, I ask for my friends to say a prayer for good lab results and a cure. Someone said that asking for prayer for Jasmine's check up is "stupid". If I am the mom and pancreas I am supposed to be, then everything would be just fine! I only wish it was that easy. I only wish T1 would agree with this thinking too! There are days we do our very best and the numbers show that T1 is doing whatever it wants.
So, we will go today with the hope of a good report card! There are no make up classes and no retaking the tests. Whatever passed or failed is now a part of my daughter's body. However, there is no giving up and no dropping out. This is life, this is forever and this is the most important class and assignment I have ever had. Not always easy being a mom to a child with T1 diabetes but even harder for my child. Together we are going to keep trying, keep fighting the battle and always hoping and praying for an A++++!!!
