Vampires at night

So here I am looking at a clock that says 1:30AM because the midnight check of my daughter's blood glucose numbers didn't sit well with me. At 12:30pm, her number was 95. Well ok, 95 is a great number if it is before lunch, before dinner, when she awakes in the morning....but not at midnight. There is a fear that all of us have, that all of deal with when we have children with T1 diabetes. We don't like talking about it. Most of us probably didn't even know such a thing existed until we had a child of our own with this disease.

During the day we seem to be able to handle anything that concerns T1. I know that no one wants to talk about this but I know that this is a reality of all parents that have a child with T1. There are inspirational blogs which I love but I know that I am not the only parent that still cries after 2 1/2 years since her diagnosis and the only parent with nighttime fears. 

As nighttime approaches, as calm as we try to remain, inside our heads we are full of the "what ifs". When night comes and bedtime approaches, you would think that Vampires are stalking our child, waiting to take that fatal bite and take her away from us forever. It may not be a vampire (a little garlic would stop him!!) but instead it is what is known as DIB. DIB (Dead in Bed) is what can happen to a T1. For some unknown reason, during their sleep, their body can produce insulin. Producing insulin is a very good thing UNLESS you have already administered several units of insulin into their bodies. Excessive insulin can cause the T1 to go into hypoglycemia (an extremely low blood glucose reading). This is turn can cause the heart to go haywire, to not function properly and thus result in a child never waking up again (there are a lot of medical facts you can also look up about DIB but this is my short non medical knowledge). 

So being the stressed out, fearful mom that I am, I wait to recheck. Waiting to see if I have a number that will continue to drop or a number that will continue to rise. I know that I have been told that DIB occurs rapidly and more that likely, even with checking her numbers throughout the night, I could not prevent such a thing from happening. As a mom, I don't accept this information. I won't, I can't. Not to mention that I have checked and found many nights when Jasmine's numbers had dropped to dangerous lows, requiring me to wake her up and get some carbs into her little sleepy body. So like I said, I won't accept that I can not do anything to try and help keep my daughter as safe as I can while she sleeps.

An hour later, Jasmine's meter reads 123. Much better for her to get through the night. I calculate the hours and pray that this number holds and she is safe. At 5AM, I awake and rush in to check her again. Meter reads 134. I say a prayer of thanks, that once again we have made it through the night. 

To my daughter, I am a normal happy mom that handles her diabetes care like a champ. No sad faces, no stressed out mom, just her mom that loves her and is taking care of her. In return, I have a happy little 8 year old that bounces off to school with a smile on her face and a song in her heart. She takes diabetes as it comes, fixing the highs, fixing the lows, adjusting to this way of life that will continue for her until a cure is finally found. She is the real champ, my hero. So another day, filled with giggles and joy, homework and fun. We read our bedtime stories, says our prayers and off to sleep she goes. Never realizing that this crazy neurotic mom is keeping watch by her bedside, wearing a lot of garlic (just in case that vampire does show up!) and always praying and checking and doing my best to keep her safe throughout the night.